Gaining Clarity

Lines 2

My time out is coming to an end and I’m finally feeling more like my normal self.  I’m flying back to San Antonio in three days!  These few months have been filled with letting go.  I don’t know if this process is complete yet, but the fog is finally starting to lift, and I’m gaining some clarity.  For this, I’m intensely grateful.

The letting go started in June with letting go of my relationship as it has been with my husband, Chuck.  It was in this space of letting go that we were free of expectations and the seemingly irreconcilable differences between us fell away.  The cliche about opening the cage to let the bird out and allowing it to return probably best describes our situation.  Two love birds are now happily sitting together in an open-door cage.

All summer, I’ve had to let go of business opportunities, independence, how I look at myself, impact on others, personal living choices, and the method that I earn money.  Most recently, I have let go of hanging on to my studio.  This seems like the last piece that had to fall into place.

I had already decided to bring home my sewing machine to give me more flexibility of when I could quilt.  The three women, who sub-leased my studio this summer, have allowed me to deal with this situation with grace.  Instead of my studio and things being taken from me, I am letting go from a place of choice.  This will occur sometime during the 4th quarter of this year.

Where I’m sitting right now, I don’t feel that I can successfully manage my business, get a job, and get healthy all at the same time.  So, when I return to San Antonio, I will continue to focus on my recovery.  In addition, I will be teaching classes and coaching , which are terrific energy-enhancing activities.  Hopefully, I will also be able to schedule the studio events that had to be post-poned because of my broken ankle.

Then the process of liquidating my studio will begin.  I have been fortunate to have gobs of space to work in for the last three years.  And there is a big part of my personality that loves the challenge of small space living.  One of my first work spaces was only 32 square feet and completely functional!  I wasn’t dyeing fabric then, so I know my next studio, while being small, will still have to have the functionality of my current studio.

As the studio gets wrapped up and my body gets stronger, I will be looking for an old-fashioned money job.  My desire to be self-sufficient and debt-free is pretty high right now. And a money job seems the easiest, fastest way to accomplish this goal.

When I’m healthy again and have a stronger financial position, then I’ll focus again on my art business.  In the meantime, I am committing to working on my art a little everyday.


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